Days like this

Today I am spending the entire day at home,
Reading travel blogs (specifically trying to find ones written by ESL teachers in Uijeongbu),
Reminding myself over & over again how stupid I was to not make a copy of my "apostillized" documents before sending them off to Korea yesterday (but also reminding myself that the world probably won't end because of it),
Drinking coffee out of the Minnie Mouse coffee mug that I bought for my mom from Disneyland,
Staring at my niece and wondering how different she'll be a year from now (and if she'll even remember me anymore),
Enjoying this wonderful 70 degrees southern California weather,
Trying to figure out all the different dishes I want to make before I leave,
Regretting my huge Sephora order but excited about receiving it next week,
Impatiently waiting for my new favorite Thai lakorn to be subbed (Ka Kaung Kon),
Trying to learn subway lines and bus routes in Korea (with no success),
Looking at my already full suitcases trying to figure out a way to downsize somehow,
Walking into my parents' room from time to time just to see what my mom's up to (usually playing some sort of bubble buster or pool game online),
and Simply enjoying sitting in the kitchen, blogging. Even though everyone's doing their own thing, it's comforting to just be near family.
I will miss days like this very much.

goodbye?

I asked my cousin's wife (she's a RN) to write a recommendation letter for me. She brought it over earlier along with a little gift. At first I didn't understand what it was for and then she explained to me that it was a goodbye gift...caught me by surprise. I teared up reading the card...and the letter of recommendation.

I hate saying goodbyes right now.. only because it's hard to tell people when I'm leaving exactly. And I'm afraid that if my paperwork don't go through... I'd still be here and then...it would be weird you know?
Say goodbye but end up not going. that's weird to me.

I've never had anyone write recommendation letters for me before. I should take a picture of these for memories :) I needed 2 so my Speech professor wrote one for me also. I was a total nerd in that class..even though I was deathly afraid of it at first.

Alright. I have tons of things to do, but I'm just spending my days hanging out with my family..and in front of my laptop.

I'm totally dreading Friday... putting my resignation letter in. My heart feels like it's going to stop every time I think about it.

I need to keep believing that this is what the Lord has planned for me.

unreal

I've officially announced to my friends that I'm going to Korea. I didn't want to say anything until I was completely sure about going. However, I'm not 100% sure at the moment still because of all the paperwork involved, but there's a better chance now than before though. My notarized background check & degree just got to Sacramento this morning. I'll have to wait for them to apostille them and send them back. Then, all I need to do is send those paperwork along with the signed contract to Korea and wait for a visa number, take that to the Korean consulate, get my passport stamped, and I'll be on my way there.
I try not to think about living there by myself. I will probably freak out if I think about it too much. Even though I've said goodbye to one of my friends (Maria because she's moving to Mn) already, it still doesn't seem real. It won't seem real until I get there I think. I can freak out there but I don't want my family to see me freak out here. They'd be worried for me for an entire year.

Sometimes I feel so strong, like living in Korea by myself for a year is no big deal. Then sometimes I feel like I'm crazy for doing this.
I've decided to put in my resignation on Friday, the 11th. I'm scared. I don't want to see my boss cry. I've worked with her for so long..and I know she'll cry. Well, either that or she'll be angry at me and tell me to just leave :/  She'll find someone to replace me though and then I'll be nothing but someone she use to work with.

I've started to pack a little, buying things here and there.. mostly things that I won't be able to find there.  I have to think about a whole year worth of supply... that's crazy. I am crazy.

in the end..

Our lives on earth are so short when you really think about it. 

So why do we care so much about money? why do we care so much about what we have or don't have? why do we care so much about how we look? or how we dress? 

Do those things matter after you die? If you're rich here on earth, will you be able to take it with you after you die?

From what I've seen, people who chase after money (not all, but most of them) are mean and rude. They are never happy. Why? because money cannot buy you everything (so cliche, but true).

We are on earth for just a while. and then we die. 

We will only be remembered for a while afterwards (mostly only by our family & friends).

The way we dressed, the way we looked, the money we had or didn't have will not matter. Nobody will remember any of it. All they'll remember is how you've changed or affected their lives. 

So instead of working toward making lots of money.. I've decided to dedicate my little time on earth here to bringing others to Christ. I don't know how, I lack social skills, I'm horrible at public speaking, I can't seem to look at others straight in the eye, and I'm not sure where to start, but it was the same with Moses and look what he was able to accomplish. It won't be easy, but it would be selfish of me to not tell others about His grace. 

In the end, living happily and knowing that you're going be joining God in Heaven is all that should matter.

It has arrived!

After posting that last entry, checked the mail, and there it was. My background check. I have a very clean record :) 

Now I just need to send a few things to Washington to get apostilled, once I get that back (& find a job) I'll have to send it off to Korea to get my visa issuance number, bring it to the nearest Korean consulate..get interviewed, get my visa stamped...and I'll be on my way to Korea. This will all take about 2-3 weeks I hear. 

So now is probably a good time to start writing my resignation letter.

oh and cry about it all.

resignation letter

Official transcripts came in rather quickly.
Nothing on background check yet.
I got an email today from Soon (guy from gmsc agency) informing me of a job position available. From what I know, it's in a city a little north of Seoul. I really don't know Korea that well so be picky about which city, but I do want to stay a little south of Seoul instead of north. I don't know why.
After a whole lot of debating and taking lots of people's advice & opinion into consideration, I've decided to try to get a public school position. We'll see though. I also have to look at the travel distance (from apartment to school) and the pay. The pay for public schools is pretty standard though I think.

I go through the days just the same. I don't think I realize how much of a drastic change I'm going to go through in the next month or so. It hasn't really sunk in all the way yet. Maybe it won't until I get there. I don't want to be excited because there's a chance I might be disappointed when I get there. So I'm just trying to go with the flow. I think I adjust quite well to the things and people around me. That's just what I think though. My friends might disagree.

Now, I'm totally dreading the day I have to give my resignation letter to my boss. I have to constantly remind myself of all the reasons why I am doing this. Sometimes, I feel like I should just play it safe and stay working there.........forever.. or until I can get into nursing school (which I'm not even sure about anymore). I have to think about how I'm working as an Asst Mgr at a retail store with a Bachelors degree. I mean, in the high-end stores the Asst Mgrs make a lot, but at my store..I make only enough to cover my bills. That's it. I get to save nothing. I'm not in search of a wonderful job making tons of money. I'd just like to make enough to pay my bills that I accumulated during my college years AND not to mention my college debt.. and have a little bit to save so I can help my family & friends. I've been nothing but a burden to them. It's hard when you want to help but you can't. Anyway, back to my job....... I like the people I work with...most of the time. Once in a while there's drama but there will be drama no matter where you go.. so I deal with it. However, being the one in charge of making the schedules, I think I get the most crap from people. What I've learned is that people will complain no matter what. They will tell you they want this and you do it for them, but it'll never be good enough because they will always want something more. So instead of trying to please everyone, I just do what needs to be done. A lot of the things I've learned there will definitely help in my teaching in Korea. For example, when I was a sales there I always dreamed of how I'd be if I was to ever become the boss. Well, I never got to be the big boss but the assistant boss counts. Anyhow, I wanted to be the "coolest" asst mgr anyone could ever have...so I joked around with everyone.. tried to be everyone's friend. I wanted to just be equal you know? I guess it wasn't that cool of an idea because after a while, nobody really cared about what I had to say. No one took me seriously. Long story, but now I just go to work, do my job, and come home. I try not to get too close to anyone there. I try not to joke around too much. I work harder around "lazier" people to try to show them how they should be working. My boss is very nice, too nice sometimes so people take advantage of it. I will miss her. I know things will never be the same again once I put my 2 weeks in, but I'm sure there are better things waiting for me in this life. I cannot stay there forever. I cannot.

Yep, this is pretty much what goes through my head everyday.
Hopefully by my next entry, I will have gotten my background check and some other things in order.
:)