Saturday: went to my Korean class, had coffee with my teacher,
shopped & ate pumpkin pie (@Starbucks) in Myeong dong,
shopped some more & had all-you-can-eat meat buffet in Ewha, took the subway all the way back to Choua's place, talked, and slept.
Sunday: woke up early, filmed in Ecclesia (church cafe), attended service (Did you know that only 0.21% of the population in Japan are Christians? AND there's so much prostitution happening with middle school and high school students. heart breaking. Also, I learned that there are 2 kinds of peace in the Japanese or Chinese language. Heywa is the peace you have when there's no trouble or difficulty. Heyon is the peace you have even in trouble or difficulty.), volunteered at the HaeShim orphanage around Seoul Stn.
In front of the orphanage.
This little guy got a little tired. It was cute watching him sleep.
Soobin!
I met her the last time I went. Bought her candies.
She ran up to me and gave me a huge hug the moment she saw me.
This baby cried a lot. didn't want to go to anyone.
But I won his heart with my motherly ways :)
So, as you can tell from my Sunday schedule that I had no time to eat. I ran around all day long.
Not to mention, I started my period that morning (Sorry, that was too much information but it's important for the story I'm going to share).
My cramps started to get really bad towards the end of our orphanage visit. I walked back to the station quickly, but by the time I got there.. I felt like I was about to die. I ran to use the restroom and then bought myself a black coffee (luckily there was a Dunkin' Donuts in the subway). I couldn't bear to stand up while waiting for them to brew the coffee so I squatted down next to the stand and waited. When I finally got it, the temperature of it didn't matter anymore. I chugged it, leaving my tongue feeling not-so-nice. I squatted down in front of the lockers & slowly found some strength to open my locker and get my bags out (I had a ton of stuff with me). Took some pain relief medicine, drank more coffee, and remembered I had the pumpkin pie that Sheng and Choua had given to me. I had no forks..nothing. So, I used my fingers :/
[Btw, I think I have a high tolerance for pain. I really think I do.
But my cramps.. well, my cramps are just really really bad.
And, if you know me well.. you'd know that when I get hungry.. I get really hungry.. really fast.
and I have absolutely no strength to do anything at all.
So, I need food right away.]
Anyway, keep in mind..the whole time I'm chugging the coffee and pumpkin pie, I'm squatting down by the lockers with my back turned towards the massive crowds that came every 5 minutes. I had no shame at that moment. I was in so much pain. I seriously felt like dying was a better option at that time.
FINALLY, after 10-15 minutes (which seemed like a year and a half) the pain slowly started to fade. I needed to get home..to eat food. I didn't want to stop for food. I wanted to just come home.
So, I put my jacket on, grabbed my huge bags, and made my way to the subway. Not surprisingly, there were no seats on the train. I had to stand. and usually, I'm fine with it. This time was different. I needed to sit.. and if I couldn't sit on a seat.. I would need to at least be in a squat position because I was hungry, I had no strength, & I was still having cramps. However, being in a squat position in the train is pretty impossible... not just because there's no room but also because it's weird. Nobody ever squats on a train. So, I tried to hold myself up as best I could. I held the rail with my hand and rested my head on my arm. I started to feel dizzy.. and my legs felt like they were going to give up on me. Still, there were no seats.
Then, I finally got to transfer to the next line. I felt better walking, but as soon as I got onto the train, I went right back to feeling the same way. Again, no seats. I stood closer to the people sitting this time.. in hopes of getting someone's seat. After about 3 stops, the lady in front of me was getting off. I thought to myself "I really really need to sit down," but right when I was about to sit, an older man walked up really quick and tried to sit before I did. He was older than me..so I was going to let him, but the ajumma who was standing next to me (the whole time I had my head down on my arm) pushed me right into the seat and told me to sit. She could probably tell by my face that I really wasn't feeling too good.
A few stops after, I got off at my station and cabbed home.
My sister was still up so I skyped with her and told her about how I almost died.
I told her and then quickly got up, turned around, & cried.
If she was here, things would've happened so differently. She wouldn't have let me go the whole day without eating. I wouldn't have felt like I was going to die.. because I knew someone would be there to catch me if I was to collapse.
I miss you Pader.
Now, I obviously knew I wasn't really going to die, but I wasn't sure how much pain my body could take..especially with no food in my stomach. So, I honestly was very afraid that I could pass out and if I did, I don't know what would or could happen.
But God seriously loves me.
He knew how much I needed that seat.
He brought random people to help me.
He helped me find enough strength to get back home... all in one piece.
Just like Thanksgiving Day.
I thought I was going to have to eat dinner all by myself.
But my student's mom picked me up after work.. and took me out with them to have some delicious noodles at a chinese restaurant. I didn't realize it until I got home, but that was my Thanksgiving dinner :)
No matter how tough things get for me here..
He's taking care of me.
always has and always will.
